The Joy of Purposeful Shopping: When Giving Transforms Getting - By: Fouzia Usman

[Part 3 of Journeys with Purpose: Turkey Dairy - Originally experienced in July 2023, reflecting back in January 2024]

Contentment Amidst Nothing

Throughout our visits to refugee families in Turkey, I ended each encounter with the same question: "Is there anything you need?"

Time after time, their response left me humbled: "Alhamdulilah, no."

These families had lost almost everything in the earthquake. They were living in temporary containers, their lives upended. Yet 99% of them expressed contentment with what little they had. They didn't ask for more.

This was a powerful lesson for my daughters. In the "more, more" culture we're raising them in back home, here was authentic contentment in action—not as a lecture or Instagram quote, but as lived reality.

The Family That Finally Asked

After several days of distributions, we met a particularly heartbreaking case—four sisters between the ages of 16 and 23 whose parents had both become shuhada (martyrs) in the earthquake. They were now being cared for by their aunt.

Their situation was especially difficult. Beyond losing their parents, they faced numerous challenges in the region, including language barriers and unkind treatment from others.

As always, before leaving, I asked if they needed anything. Initially, they said no. But after gentle persistence, they slowly opened up, their requests coming with such deep shyness it nearly broke my heart.

"We don't have a refrigerator," one sister finally admitted. "We have to use our neighbor's to store any cooked food."

Another added quietly, "And we don't have a washing machine."

A third sister, wiping sweat from her brow in the intense heat, mentioned a fan would help.

I didn't have additional funds allocated for these items. But that evening, I posted about their specific needs in my WhatsApp group. Subhan'Allah, overnight we received enough money to purchase everything they needed.

Not Just Any Shopping Trip

The next day became what my daughters called "Appliance Shopping Day"—but it was unlike any shopping experience we'd ever had.

My children, who sometimes showed indifference during our regular shopping trips back home, were now fully engaged, even particular. They insisted on checking brands, comparing features, and most importantly, warranty periods.

"Mom, they don't have any men in their house," my older daughter pointed out. "So we need to get at least 5 years of warranty so if something goes wrong, they can get it fixed."

I had the funds but felt nervous about using my ATM card outside the US for such large purchases. When I heard the confirmation sound after swiping my card for the appliances, it was the most beautiful sound—a signal that this mission of mercy was actually happening.

The Small Things That Mean Everything

On our way to deliver the receipts for the appliances (which would be delivered later), we stopped at a grocery store to pick up essentials for the family.

Here, I witnessed something beautiful: the pure joy my children experienced buying for others in need.

"Oh, shampoo! Let's get them that." "Look, it's a cookie pack. Let's get them two." "They'll need women's products too."

They moved through the store with purpose and excitement, not thinking about what they wanted for themselves, but anticipating what might bring comfort to these four sisters. We even remembered to buy washing machine detergent.

When we arrived at their home with our grocery bags, we handed them the washing powder. They looked confused.

"We don't need this," one sister said gently. "We don't even have a washing machine."

The Moment That Changed Everything

Then we showed them the delivery receipts for the refrigerator, washing machine, and fan. For a moment, they stood in shocked silence.

Subhan'Allah, their eyes filled with tears. They made dua instantly, embraced us, and thanked us repeatedly. The aunt kept raising her hands to the sky, offering prayers for everyone who had contributed.

In that moment, I glanced at my daughters. The look on their faces—witnessing the impact of their thoughtful shopping decisions—was worth more than any lesson I could have taught them about generosity or gratitude.

The Shopping Lesson That Matters

As parents, we often find ourselves cautioning our children against materialistic tendencies. "You don't need more clothes," "That's too expensive," "Save your money instead."

But this experience taught us all a different relationship with shopping. When the purpose shifts from accumulation to contribution, something profound happens. The joy doesn't come from having, but from giving. The thrill isn't in the possession, but in the provision.

My daughters, who sometimes roll their eyes when I lecture about excessive consumption, discovered this truth organically. No sermon could have penetrated as deeply as the experience of carefully selecting items for a family in need and witnessing their gratitude.

In that container home, watching four orphaned sisters clutch delivery receipts for appliances most American homes take for granted, my children received something money truly cannot buy: the understanding that our resources aren't just for our comfort, but for creating comfort for others.

That night, as we walked back to our accommodation, my younger daughter said something I'll never forget: "Mom, I think I like shopping for others way more than shopping for myself."

Mission accomplished, indeed.

In my next post, I'll share our deeply moving experience spending a day with the Uyghur community in Istanbul—cooking traditional foods, hearing firsthand stories, and building connections that transcended language and cultural barriers. It's one thing to hear about global issues in the news; it's quite another to break bread with those directly affected.